Learning Italian Is Hard, But English Is Much Harder

When I am practicing my Italian, I often need to remind myself that the hard part is behind me: I already know English.

If English is your first language, consider yourself lucky. You may not realize it, but English is incredibly hard to learn. Not sure what I mean? Here are a few examples:

  • The bandage was wound around the wound.
  • The farm was used to produce produce.
  • The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
  • We must polish the Polish furniture.
  • He could lead if he would get the lead out.
  • A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
  • When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
  • I did not object to the object.
  • The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
  • There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
  • They were too close to the door to close it.
  • The buck does funny things when does are present.
  • A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
  • To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
  • The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
  • After a number of injections my jaw got number.
  • Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
  • I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
  • How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

And it gets worse:

  • The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  • Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
  • The accountant at the music store records records of the records.

All of a sudden the difference between l’italiano and italiano seem mild by comparison.

Here’s one more that made me laugh:

  • If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough
  • If OUGH stands for O as in Dough
  • If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis
  • If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbour
  • If TTE stands for T as in Gazette
  • If EAU stands for O as in Plateau
  • Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU

MARRONE!

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